First Draft
Second Draft
I completely scrapped the self-defence idea because (1) I didn't believe in it (2) I just reworded what the Montesquieu guy said and (3) I didn't understand what he meant in the first place so (4) my entire "theory" was confusing and very vague. Instead, with the help of Mr. Pangier, I wrote about how outsiders give judgements and that only the soldiers have a right to decide if it's justified or not. I also edited the entire essay so there would be more paragraphs and it'll be easier to read.
Final Draft
After the in-class peer review I realized I had some requirements missing so I added the How to Read Literature Like a Professor reference and the source for the WW1 propaganda poster I've previously written. I also moved words around and made the one-line conclusion better. One sentence in paragraph two was removed because I thought I was contradicting myself too.